My Lucas has been sick this week, and time has gotten all wavy and wiggly on me. Like everyone else with kids these days, Keith and I have our schedules tightly knitted so that we can share work, household, and parenting duties. With Lucas home sick, everything must shift to accommodate someone staying home with him. The nice thing is, between the two of us, we are more than able to cover "one" ministry position (though the household and parenting positions may be questionable at times!).
However, weeks like this make me wonder about the younger families in our congregation and in our culture today. As we minister to these families, attempting to plan fellowship gatherings and Christian educational opportunities, it becomes rapidly clear how BUSY everyone seems to be in our world. Here in Monroe, once your kids have graduated from preschool, it seems that sports begin to take over your world. Life with preschoolers is isolating, so parents must look on the chance to integrate into the community's sports' scene as a relief at first, but then they seem to end up running from practice to practice, game to game, with nary a chance at taking a deep breath, let alone gathering for a church event.
This worries me, as I look at these parents and as I look at my rapidly growing boy. His latest trick is learning to climb onto the bed (the dog now has nowhere to escape him), so you know that we'll have to get him into sports to use up some of that physical energy. But I worry about running from here to there. I already feel too busy, and I have more opportunities than most people to pursue my church vocation and creative interests even while raising my son.
I came across this blog recently on "Slow Family Living," which gave me a chance to take a deep breath of relief ( http://slowfamilyliving.com/). From there, I found the following post in a New York Times blog on parenting, which is well worth a read:
http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/08/what-is-slow-parenting/
It fascinates me: as technology gets faster and faster, many people around the world are calling for a breather.
When I lived in Guatemala, and I would go walking in my mountain village, my host mother Toribia always sent me off, calling out a phrase that means, "Slowly, slowly, don't fall down." I found deep meaning in those words while living there, taking a year and moving with the Maya-Kiche seasons. Those words come back to me now, and I long to find a slow and steady rhythm to carry me through these days, even when "falling down" has happened.
What does "slow living" mean for you readers out there? How do you slow down?
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Hey Laura! The best insight I can give on this whole issue (as one nearly on the other side of parenting involvement like this) is to take it a year at a time. Just because he starts playing t-ball in kindergarten doesn't mean he has to play it all through high school and just because he hasn't played lacrosse at all, doesn't mean he can't start much older. "Seasons" in most activities allow for a short time of commitment and offer the opportunity to re-evaluate.
ReplyDeleteOh...yeah...and always put in the big rocks first!
Thanks for the link to our Slow Family site. It is our goal to provide tools for families to help them find ways to slow down, connect and enjoy family life at a pace that works for them.
ReplyDeleteAs for the sports, if you want to sign up, go for it. But if it doesn't seem like it'll work for your family, just kicking the ball in the yard will provide the movement and connection our children seek!
Enjoy the ride.
Bernadette
Loved the New York Times article. I'm with you--I'm not one to overschedule my kids with sports so they can find their hidden talent early in life. In fact, Hannah is currently not enrolled with any extracurricular activity, though she does want to join Girl Scouts again at the beginning of the new school year. If I scheduled their every spare minute, I would be stressed out, cranky mommy. I wouldn't have time to cook (which is my hobby as a SAH mom) and our family time would suffer. We enjoy being able to go to the beach when we have some extra time. If Hannah and Kate had activities after school, we would be doing homework after supper, not taking a slow family stroll around the neighborhood.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid kids who are overprogrammed will have less ability to use their imagination simply because they don't have the opportunity or necessity to use it. I tell my kids all the time, "Go play" so they know how to play. For the same reason, we haven't bought them a video game system.
Made your foccacia by the way and it was FABULOUS! Even better the second day as a tukey and avocado panini!
Liz, Sarah, and Bernadette, thanks for the comments and insights on this stuff. Bernadette, I've really appreciated your site! Liz, I have to say that some of my thinking about this stuff has been triggered by the LOGOS training and the conversations with folks at our church. A big concern for many of them in getting the ministry going is getting parental commitment, and yet these people recognize how many parents in the community are committed to the sports programs. But I think people are yearning for renewed family connections, and LOGOS offers a way to renew church family connections. I think it is a way of "slowing down" to reconnect with what's most important.
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed the focaccia, Sarah! I miss you all so much. I really miss chatting with you at the APTS playgrounds and seeing you all going for strolls around campus (and your fabulous cheesecakes!).